


the almost-king

by tinuviel_tinuviel



Category: The Ascendance Trilogy - Jennifer A. Nielsen
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Pre-Relationship, amarinda's pov, but mostly i'm playing around with how the groundwork of their relationship might have been laid, gently shippy, with a side of pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24542803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinuviel_tinuviel/pseuds/tinuviel_tinuviel
Summary: "Amarinda liked to listen to Tobias ramble. Unguarded honesty was rare and sweet in Carthya’s court. Even he and Jaron differed sharply here, despite their often uncanny similarities-- the true king’s words to her were tense and safe: conversation fit for a brunch partner, not one’s betrothed. But Tobias’ words tumbled out like water from a spring, giddy and irrepressible, about the regents, about the weather, about the garden, about his childhood, about his time in Farthenwood, about Carthya. Occasionally he would stop, catching her contented stare, and flush."Amarinda ponders honesty, envy, and what could have been.
Relationships: Amarinda of Bultain & Tobias
Kudos: 13





	the almost-king

Amarinda liked to listen to Tobias ramble. Unguarded honesty was rare and sweet in Carthya’s court. Even he and Jaron differed sharply here, despite their often uncanny similarities-- the true king’s words to her were tense and safe: conversation fit for a brunch partner, not one’s betrothed. But Tobias’ words tumbled out like water from a spring, giddy and irrepressible, about the regents, about the weather, about the garden, about his childhood, about his time in Farthenwood, about Carthya. Occasionally he would stop, catching her contented stare, and flush.

“I’m talking too much,” he would say.

“Go on,” she would tell him, laughing. “You can’t stop in the middle of the story.”

“I forgot what I was saying.”

“About the fight in the secret passages.” He hesitated. “I like hearing it. I think it helps me understand Jaron better.”  _ I think it helps me understand you. I think I like watching you get excited. I think I find you too charming. _

And then he would begin again, his ears still pink, and she would pretend she wasn’t a little in love with the words he spoke so freely. She thought, sometimes, about the fact that she could have married him. If Conner’s scheme had worked out differently, if Jaron had not been  _ Jaron, _ Tobias could very well have been the false prince and she would be preparing to marry  _ him _ when they both came of age. Maybe it was envy that kept this thought in the back of her mind; lucky Tobias had no betrothal to bind him and no crown weighing him down. He swore loyalty to Jaron and freed himself. Her loyalty to Jaron kept her bound.

She wondered if she was more like Jaron, or Tobias. Would she have fought with all her guile to claim the throne, if she had been put to a contest like they had? Or would she relinquish it, with a quiet breath of relief? If she could escape queenhood like Tobias escaped kinghood, would she?

“Do you ever wish Lord Conner had chosen you?” she asked him one day, while they waited in the gardens for Jaron.

“There was never really a chance,” Tobias said. “I might have had the right face but I never had the mind for it. Jaron was thinking circles around me from the start. I wasn’t half-clever enough to fool the council, much less beat him. He knew that, Conner knew that, and eventually I realized it too.” Shrugging, he laced his fingers around his knees. Both his and Jaron’s faces were so familiar to her now that she sometimes forgot how similar they looked at first glance. Right face, wrong mind, he had said. Jaron would never have answered her question so honestly. “It always had to be Jaron.”

“That’s a fair answer,” she admitted. It didn’t answer the question she had meant to ask, though. “But-- if you could choose whether to be king, would you? Are you glad to be free of his responsibilities, or is there anything you envy him for?”

He finally met her gaze, with a reluctant smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Just one thing.”

**Author's Note:**

> i can only imagine that these two have a genuinely sweet relationship-- i wish we'd seen more of it! i love them
> 
> please drop kudos & a comment or come talk to me on tumblr at @piratekingimogen! :)


End file.
